theunplannedlife

When I grow up…

In Uncategorized on March 15, 2009 at 12:15 pm

I’ve started painting again.  It is both thrilling and terrifying.  A couple of weeks back I had a dream about a painting that I was going to do.  I woke up and it was still vividly in my mind.  Just one problem.  My creative life went on vacation when my daughter arrived.

Maybe we should go back a little farther.  I was always interested in architecture and thought that’s what I wanted to do when I grew up.  I took my classes in high school with that future in mind.  My senior year I took a lone basic art class to help me build a portfolio.  With Mr. L I did my first painting…(not including elementary works of art) and much to my surprise it was good.  It was of a pumpkin and it actually looked like a pumpkin.

I did a few more that year and then as planned I went to study architecture the following year.

What wasn’t planned was that I was more interested in what all the art majors were doing and less with the architecture stuff.  So a year… that’s all it took and I was done… never to return.  But it’d still be another 5 before I realized my dream of being an architect was not my own, but my father’s.  That’s what he should have done, but I thought he’d love me if I did it.

I took some time off and later found myself at the local county college studying computer animation.  Very cool field, but again I found myself more interested in the traditional art.  As with all majors there are the pre-req’s before you get to what you really want to learn and mine included basic drawing and 2d design.  With the help of some really excellent professors I started to realize my calling in the arts.

The internal struggle had begun.  My heart was calling out, “Major in fine arts.  You’ll love it.  It’ll be challenging, but a good kind of challenging.  You’ll push yourself.”  Then my head, which sounds an awful lot like my family, piped in with, “You know they call them starving artists for a reason.  How are you going to support yourself?  Only a few people really make money with their art.”

Then I found out I was pregnant and it was all pushed back in to the recesses of my mind, not to resurface again until now.  Things are a little different now.  It’s not just about what I want anymore.  I have 3 young kids and they look to me to take care of them.  So the war in my head rages on.  But it seems a peace treaty is forming.  Maybe the two sides can agree to me majoring in art education.  I get all the fine arts but I also get the steady job and paycheck, plus the same schedule as my kids.  Yes I think the treaty is close to being signed.

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